I got to spend 4 glorious days on a beach quite similar to this one. I needed the recharge and the relaxation. Life is going to be a bit rocky for a little bit. With C leaving me I am all alone in this operation, quite a daunting task. I am going to need some Valium and vodka! I am going to get a card board cut out of her, to put in her chair, that way I have someone to tell my dirty little secrets from the night before!
In the man department I have been floating along nicely. I have been talking to TM quite a bit lately. (C's favorite!) Last week his doctor found some swollen lymphnodes in a cat scan. This Friday he is going in for surgery. He really has not said that much about it, I am not pushing. He will tell me when he feels like it. The whole thing gives me anxiety. Stuff like this makes me question EVERYTHING. What would I do with out him? I talk to him 4-5 times a week. I would really miss that. What am I waiting for? Is he really the one that I would pack my stuff, sell my house and run away with? I start to question every little thing, is he really what I want? What the hell do I want? Am I even the kind of girl that could be tied down? If I let this one pass me by, will I ever find another that I like as much as him? Do I want to? blah blah blah.
I don't even know what I am talking about anymore. Philly will be here tonight, I am looking forward to seeing him. Is that a total oxymoron? I really like TM but Philly will do for the time being? I want to go back to the lake!-V
P.S. My favorite song of late:
Give me skies of black and blue, the way you make me feelGive me skies of green and red, cold winds that make it realStorms are brewing deep within of hurt and loss and prideIt's good to see the world in pain when I take a walk outsideChorus:When it rains, I don't mind being lonely, I cry right along with the skyWhen it rains, I don't pretend to be happy, I don't even have to tryWhen it rains, Some people get down, They're sporting a frown, so I fit right inYeah, the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way, I'd take the rainI don't care about politics or the hypocrites on my TVI'm not mad at the girl who left because she couldn't be with meSo make up your theories about the scandals and the liesStart out depressed then everything comes as a pleasant surpriseWhen it rains, I don't mind being lonely, I cry right along with the skyWhen it rains, I don't pretend to be happy, I don't even have to tryWhen it rains, Some people get down, They're sporting a frown, so I fit right inYeah, the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way, I'd take the rain**Solo**When it rains, I don't mind being lonely, I cry right along with the skyWhen it rains, I don't pretend to be happy, I don't even have to tryWhen it rains, Some people get down, They're sporting a frown, so I fit right inYeah, the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way, I'd take the rain. When it rains. Eli Young Band.
3 comments:
I'm jealous of your beach time and overwhelmed by the fact that I don't get a vacation this year! Whoooo do you love? That's a song too ya know. I hope TM doesn't have anything major.
C
The fact that you're not sure suggests that neither one is the real one! I always thought that if it was right you'd just know... though that is contradicted slightly by the fact that when I did really know, it was the biggest mess ever. The feeling was right though.
You'll be ok V! All of your imaginary friends (ie: me, CO, Bulldog) will still be around! I can pipe up for you lot can't I?
I have a strange feeling that you are right about the 'right one'. I am glad that all of you will be around! You can pipe up anytime you would like, I need you guys!-V
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