I am a bitch...Don't agree so freaking fast, let me explain. Cuz after I do I am going to want some big fat high fives from the Internet. I go to my little bar last night after work before my games, I chat with the other people, like usual. Philly walks in, I feel nothing. He starts talking and I wanted to stick red hot pokers in my ears. I may be just a little bit menstral. But still. He comes over and tells me that I look nice, and smell good. WTF! I love the look of a ball cap shoved down on my head, accompanied by my raggedy ass gym shorts. I am a fucking super model!
I politely say thank you as I am trying to light him on fire with my eyes. Luckily I have a ball game, so I bail out. The thing about me and softball is that we have a really new relationship. New in the aspect that I have never played before, not to mention that I have no athletic ability. None. At. All. I set my goals in softball at attainable levels. Like hitting the ball. First base. Not piling myself up in between home and first base. I have goals. I got done playing last night and was sure that one of the other teams was going to recruit me for their own! I am a ROCK STAR! I Hit the ball, made it to first base, and didn't fall on my big ass! So there I was on first base, checking the scenery, seeing as it was my first trip out there. All the sudden line drive, I gotta run to second base then around the corner to third and then score one for the team! What's that? I just made it all the way around the bases! I know some of you may not think that it is that fantastic, but I do. I was a virgin of softball until last night. Only this "first time" was better than the other one.
Moving along. Even my trained monkeys were proud of me. I took my rock-star-ness out for a beer after the game. Philly was not there, that was cool. Short lived, but cool. Assface calls me and wants me to come over and see him. Unavailable. He says fine, hangs up. Look Fucktard, don't you know the way this works? When I want, when it's my idea. Otherwise no. The other thing is that this sex deal has been going on for a while. Pay attention for one little second and you would have noticed, the first week of the month is never a good time! Duh!
Here I am, sitting pretty. Me, T, and a nice cold bud light. I am reliving my greatness, when Ass face comes strolling in. I should have finished my beer and left. I knew that I was going to be mean to him, but so did he. Glutton for punishment? I thought so. I just continued with my greatness, thinking he would keep his mouth shut. Riiigghhhtt. Philly: "I have hit balls that haven't even landed yet." T can't help herself and says, "of course you have, you have done everything bigger and better than everyone else." She may be a bit PMSy also. Burn baby burn. Mad props for my girl! That's one of the many problems that I have with him. I can't ever do or be or have anything better or even equal to him. Not sticking around to be your underling. Perhaps that's one of the reasons your not married anymore. That and you are an Ass face. Why did such a beautiful thing have to get ruined? Is it too much to ask, that you just don't talk?
He doesn't stop there, he asks me where my boyfriend is? My what? "You have a guy right? That's why your unavailable tonight?" Or not your business. This ho don't need to tell nobody but her pimp, who shes doing.
I'm over him, it, this, us. O.V.E.R. I.T.