All in all I think that this weekend with Philly went well. I say all in all because, there were rough patches. Mostly my fault, mostly induced by my neurosis. I was so freaking nervous to see him that I went all ice queen on his ass. Isn't that great when you are really excited to see someone? I am so worried about what he will think and how I should act that I don't' know how to act. I have been seeing him for a while now I shouldn't let that whole thing get to me. I know that but it still does. I was all worried about how it would be seeing him again after a month and what he would think about me and all that stuff. I even left work early so that I would be at home when he got there. I had to calm my nerves. I was shaking like crazy. Not for bad reasons. I realized at that moment waiting for him to get there I really felt things for him that I have not felt in a long time.

We went out and had fun. We stayed in and had fun. When he left on Sunday morning I was sad. Even though I had know the whole weekend that he would go, Duh. I still hate watching him walk away. I am an idiot. I moved my car from behind his truck and then walked toward the house, he was already backing up. He stopped the truck and smiled and waved, so did I. (Not so much the smile part.) Then he was gone. Of course I walk in the house and cry, I didn't even really tell him goodbye. No hug, no kiss, no nothing. I am an idiot. I thought and worried about it all day. Finally about noon on Monday I called him as I had not talked to him on Sunday night. We talked for a little bit like normal and he said that if he didn't call me later he was busy with his son and he would talk to me later. Stupid me I really thought everything was going along just great.-V