For some reason, there is a flashing neon sign on my forehead. Sometimes it says, 'please ask me about your relationship'. As such T has been having a battle of massive proportions with J lately. It has been ugly for them for a while, it all came to a head this week. I tried to stay away because I know her. She always wants the answer to be that 'everything is lollipops and gumdrops'. Bullshit. I thought that if I let it out in a post I might be able to contain myself and not try to slap some sense into her?Why do people that fight like cats and dogs; think that it is a good idea to get married? They are hardly ever even civil to each other. "Oh hey let's tie the knot I bet it will get better." Sure that always helps. If the two of you are not nice to each other, a piece of paper will totally change that.
Another question that I have is.....What sort of relationship did you think you were developing, while you were spending 'quality' time together getting totally wasted at the bar? It went that way for the 2 years you were dating and the first 2 years you were married and now you want shit to change? Good luck. It should have never gotten to the point of him wetting himself in bed and it sure as hell should never have gotten to the point of you having to clean out his pants. (Yes people a grown man shits himself.) I know a bit graphic but the stuff that I have to hear about, should be ranted about for therapy purposes.
I have done some pretty stupid things when I have been drunk. I am not going to name any names, heh. The thing is that when J gets all smashed asshole drunk he says some of the most horrible things to T. Really mean, mean things. The next day she is still crying about it and he has no idea why. Here is another great indication that he drinks too much. Having fun is all good. Getting smashed every night and being a total dick is not. You would think that after all the time that T and J have been together that this part of the problem would change. Oh it has changed alright. It has gotten worse.
I tend to tell the whole truth when I am drunk, if I don't like you I will not sugar coat it. If I think that you are smokin hot, I will tell you. I think that the truth comes out when you get drunk. Maybe it is his truth talking when J says that he doesn't love T and that he wants to leave her and move back to his home state? He plays her insecurity to his advantage. She is so scared of him leaving her that she just keeps taking all of the shit. She has been this way for years. What exactly can I do to help her now?
I honestly think that she would be better off with out him. She isn't getting anything out of the relationship now. I mean no emotional support, he doesn't help her with the kids. He sure as hell doesn't help financially. She isn't getting any sex either. I say cut your loss and bail the hell out. Easier said than done, I know. I just can't see the point in always waiting for the bottom to fall out and all hell to break loose.-V
6 comments:
I have what sounds like the exact same friends. We recorded his rant one night and played it back to him, it at least made him realise what an arse he was being but the better behavior did not last. I stopped inviting them over some years ago because I do not appreciate being left with a pissed in bed. They had twins a few years ago and got married. When she told me about the engagement I found it incredibly difficult to be happy for her, she thought he would sort himself out with the responsibility of it all. I couldn't even bring myself to go to the wedding, which I expect looked odd as my husband was best man.
I wish she would cut loose and sort her life out. What I don't understand is how a previously intelligent woman can delude herself so thoroughly. But then he is a charmer, and aren't we all victims of the charm?
I say you should avoid these conversations like the plague. people ask you for relationship advice because they want you to tell them what they want to hear. Best bet is whenever anyone asks your oppinion on matters of the heart, give the most OUTRAGEOUSLY BAD advice you can think of, "you should spend six months working away, preferably a circus, And if after six months, you can still remember his name, marry him", They'll never ask again.
T and J went away together this weekend. They are home now and everything is just wonderful. I can totally understand how you felt about your friends, B. I am keeping my distance even more than I usually do. T usually sends a text or two to see how my weekend was, J got mad about her texting so she won't even texts her friends back anymore. Philly will be here this weekend and we have been trying to figure out how to be polite but not hang out with them. It is really hard to start a new relationship with all this stupid drama. I can't be bothered with it.-V
Oh really? Is that why? Of all the things I could think of that one didn't occur to me. JK, How's it hangin? I like the cute boy below!! Nice Job on Mr. October. Who is gonna buy the naked men calendar this year?
C
P.S. It won't let me sign in but anonymous was easier anyway. ;)
Well, funny girl! I am going to assume that the first two question were directed at my relationship comment. You of all people should know that I am totally normal and relationship savy. lol I couldn't keep a straight face through that one. It's hanging a little to the left today. heh-V
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