I need some advice....You see there is this guy. Steve he is 42 and divorced. He is incredible shy. I have known of him for a while. He is quite cute, and as far as I know he isn't some sort of freak.
So he comes into my office yesterday. While I am fixing his problem he asks what I have been up to lately. I froze, I think that I mumbled something about just working. Then he tells me that he really likes my hair cut the way that it is. Again I have nothing. I freeze up. More mumbling about how I get bored with it and have to change it.
The most shocking part of all of this is......I don't think that anyone that knows me would ever say that I am shy? Here he was trying to start a conversation and I mumble some random shit at him. What in the SAM hell is going on with me? I ask T about the situation and she says simple that I just need liquid courage. Huh? I can't seem to talk to guys unless I have a buzz?
I guess that advice that I am asking for here is.....
1. How do I get out of this state of non-talking when sober?
2. How do I get Steve out of his shell, at least to see if there is anything there?
3. Should I just grow a pair of balls and call and ask him out?
Someone help.-V
5 comments:
1) don't! why it be good? beer is a social lubricant,and other people who need a social lubricant, use bars, so thats the placeto meet likeminded people.
2) see 3
3)yes, unless you fear of rejection is so big, and you think he will advertise........hang on, 42! isn't he old enough to be your father?
If you go out on a sober date, things will be awkward. If you meet at a bar, chances are you'll be shagging by the end of happy hour.
1. Talking to random people will always be a bit scary... unless you just talk to everyone, regardless of whether you fancy them or not! This is my masterplan - be smiley and friendly and chatty to everyone so that when someone comes along that you do find interesting, it comes much more naturally. Start off when you're tipsy but then carry it over to work, home, the coffee shop, supermarket - just ask people how their days are going and smile. You'll be amazed at what they give back.
2. Ask him questions. Not anything too personal at first - no names, where he lives, anything like that but whether he's been watching X-factor, what he's having for lunch - anything silly that you can respond to: "oh you have tuna sandwiches for lunch? I love tuna, but only with sweetcorn. Cucumber is wrong." "how can you think that's wrong?" "I am a woman of particular tastes Steve..." *cue flirty smile etc
3. I'd have a bit of banter first, but if you fancy him then yes!
On a totally different subject - Mr B called me this evening OFF HIS OWN BAT. I am a manipulative genius. Oh yes! It's unfortunate I can only do that to men I have lost interest in having a relationship with, eh?
xx
Bulldog-That's kinda the problem I only have fear of rejection when I am sober. He is older, not quite old enough to be my father. I will be 30 in March.
BBSD-I think that I may be looking for a bit more than just getting drunk and shagging:) Don't tell anyone that I may be growing up? I think that I might want to try and actually get to know someone before getting in bed with them.
Newbie-I am implementing the Newbie smile theory. I think you hit it right on the head! Your'e a genius! T and I are trying to figure out a way to get him around, so that I can test this method on him. lol
Oh Mr.B...Isn't that the way it always works, when your'e all but done trying, they want to start being normal humans.heh Have fun with it.-V
Oh my!
Sounds like he really made an effort to talk to you!
I would go with Newbie and suggest smiling... it's amazing how hard it is when you're feeling awkward just to make eye contact.
So lift your chin, look him in the eye, and SMILE! It won't matter what shit you say after that because all he'll remember is how good you made him feel :)
Sorry if this advice comes way too late btw!
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