Wow. I think that I have had an epiphany. Why don't I try thinking things through before I do them? This may cut down on the analyzing after the fact. The analyzing to death that I do, ALL THE TIME. I may just have to turn in my resume to N.A.S.A. after this. For I am surely a rocket scientist of epic proportions. A couple calming breaths and I will try to explain.

Well you know it's about a boy. Not a man. A boy. Yup. He is 23. Oh, what was I thinking? The upshot is that I didn't actually do anything with him. We passed out in the same bed. That is all. The complications come from the fact that he is the son of a couple of our friends. OMG! That sounds even worse than I thought.

So it's a 7 YEAR age difference. What's the big deal? What will happen if I break his heart? Will his Mom still talk to me? Oh hell. His Dad thinks I am hot, while said that way seems a little weird, but I assure you it is not.

OK, horse first and then the cart. Friday night. Birthday party at our pub. Beer. Not too much. Shots at the other bar. Real creepster trying to hold hands with me. House party, creepster ends up there. He gets a bit pushy, in walks my knight in shining armor. Kyle, saves me from creepster. All the other girls at the party thought that creepster was something pretty wonderful. They changed their tune the next day when I told them that he was an ass hat. Anyway. I sort of swoon at the whole protector thing, perhaps it's old age? He is the perfect gentleman. He doesn't leave my side until creepster is gone. The party continues until the early morning hours. It's time for a little nap right before the sun comes up. I coulda, woulda, shoulda slept in the guest room, alone.

And here comes the complications. The house party was at his house. Oh yes, he lives with his parents. I party with him and his parents pretty often. It seems like the most natural thing in the world to cuddle up to Kyle and talk until 8am. Have a little nap til noon and then slink down the stairs in some of his pajamas. It gets even better. His Dad and his brother are having coffee in the kitchen. My car keys are on the fridge. I can't leave with out seeing them. Nice. His Dad sort of grins and offers me some coffee while his brother is grinning and offering me the Advil. I accept the Advil and decline the coffee. I need a shower and my own clothes. His Mom comes into the kitchen and asks if I am staying for breakfast. I politely decline.

I have done the walk of shame before. Just not like this. Oh ya good times. When I get to my car, my phone is freaking out. A million text messages from T and R. They were leaving for a weekender and T wanted to borrow some of my clothes. Shit. Now they are going to know that something is up. I text back and apologize for not being home and ask if she got into my house to get what she needed. She did and then the questions start. Shit. She brings up the creepster and I have to tell her that no, I didn't spend the night with him. I think that I was still drunk from the night before. I tell her that I should probably call Kyle because I sort of snuck out of bed while he was still sleeping. I get giggles of a reply. She and R have been trying to get me to hook up with Kyle for a while now. I think I resisted in the beginning just to be a pain in the ass. Turns out that I sorta like this kid.

The problem is that I feel like a cougar. What in the world was I thinking? Wait, I wasn't thinking that's the problem. I do like him, we have fun together. I don't want to hurt him. Not that he is all fragile and shit. I just don't want to be the one to break his heart. Not that I am planning too. It just seems to happen that way. If something bad happened and we did end up dating and then breaking up, I am afraid that there is going to be a big rift in my group of friends. Who doesn't hate the girl that broke her sons heart? I don't want to be that girl. But I usually am. I am bat shit crazy.

What do I do now? We didn't exactly exchange numbers. I have his clothes, I have to give them back. Maybe he will just brush me off and we can go back to the way things were, before I fucked everything up? Not likely. Help!-V