Mayday! Mayday! This plane is going down. Over.

I don't know any other way to explain the last couple of days except like a walkie talkie transmission that I had the other day with T. Yeah it's about Philly. I was hoping that I could be over and done with all that business so that I could go back to being a fun party girl with more to blog about. Alas. Not happening.

I wish that I could tell all of our recent conversations word for word. Then maybe I would be validated? Do I need justification? It has honestly taken years for me to realize that I am the one that has to be happy. Not my family. Because really, my friends would be good to anyone for me. T didn't really like Philly in the beginning. I am sure that she doesn't adore him now, but you would never know that. She does the smile and wave thing for me. Back from the tangent......Philly and I have talked about so many things this last few weeks that I can't get them all down fast enough. The biggest thing has to be that he is in love with me. There I said it. I have yet to reciprocate and he's a little hesitant about that. I just don't go around throwing the L word out there. I know that I like him, I am comfortable with him. He makes me laugh, he keeps me grounded and on a cloud all at the same time. Love?

He sleeps over. at. my. house. I am still a bit boggled by this. I don't hate it, just can't quite see where we went from me grabbing my clothes and getting the hell out of there to this? I was informed by T the this was bound to happen since we have been seeing each other for a while. Fine.

As much as I have tried (alright, perhaps half-assed) to let this be a short term, I won't fall for him sort of deal, I have failed. But he failed first. His tough guy thing has been fading for a while. I have been shown the real Philly, the softer side. The one that I was sure was there and knew was going to be my complete undoing. Let the undoing commence. More later.-V