Tick.Tock.

The back and forth that is my life. I'm not sure if I should blame it on being a girl, or simply being human. Things are fine for a while and then all the sudden not so much. I usually have this same issue around my birthday. Turning a year older always reminds me that my biological clock is ticking. The thing is my birthday isn't for 6 months. I'm not sure what brought it on this time. Tick.Tock.



Hormones, I will blame it on hormones? Thus is one of the perks of being a girl. Blame it all on the hormones. Tick.Tock.



When I talk to Philly tonight will he think that I am bat shit crazy if I begin our conversation with, so wanna have more kids? It is a question that is bugging the hell out of me. I would really like to know. He is 37 and already has two. It seems a bit premature to ask that sort of question, although it would be a big deciding factor for our relationship. Tick.Tock. Deal breaker? I guess I should decide that before I go all nutso on him about it. But is it really nutso? I think that at this point it is. This whole relationship is still very new. Not that we can't or don't talk. This issue is a bit deep. Tick.Tock.

Stupid clock! I don't want to be an old parent, you know the ones that are 70 when their kid graduates? I want to be young enough to have fun with my kids. Really at this point is there even time for more than one? If there isn't do I want an only child? The ones that I know are rotten brats, I don't want a rotten bratty only child. Tick. Tock. Beware out of control cart going before the horse at this point. Do I want to have kids? Yes. Right now? No. Soon? Maybe.

My Mom, crazy ass sister and C all seem to think that I should just have a baby all of the sudden. By myself. Well not exactly by myself, that wouldn't work for biological reasons. Anyway my Mom and sister more so than C, think that it would be loads of fun for me to raise a baby by myself. Nut Bags. Their stupid rantings are getting to me lately because of this loud ass ticking in my ears. Tick. Tock.

In through the nose out through the mouth, no need for an anxiety attack over this whole thing. I don't think that my cervix is going to shrivel up in the next few years, or will it?-V