Finally a little dirty, dirty.

First the not so dirty part. Justin is something else. I guess that I shouldn't be totally surprised. I mean I have know him for a while. The man is something else. He is either a very genuine person or really good at expressing interest to get in my pants. Either way I am smitten. Which really isn't one of my best ideas. Sure I might have had a LOT of bad ideas. I just can't stop. I am a pathological bad decision. I guess the only problem would be if some one was getting hurt besides me. Anyway. Random.

So, I know that he is leaving and that he won't be back for a month. I can't help but let neurosis take over in my head. I do this all the time. I jump around between trying to keep it casual and driving myself crazy with the fact that I am sure I am not the "only one". Which doesn't make any sense because he isn't my only one.

I know a big part of it is the attention. I have been starved of actual attention. I'm like a toddler in that respect. I just gotta have attention. I have really great friends and family so I am spoiled in that department. There is just something that you can't describe when a man has his entire being focused on you. Like he is hanging on every word and really cares what you have to say. Not to mention that I love the actual conversations with Justin. He is somewhere between a grown-up and a kid. A really good mix.

So it got a little dirty, dirty last night. All I should really say about it is that I was not disappointed. But I can't seem to keep my mouth shut when it comes to mattress matters. Here goes.....WOW, really freakin great. Perhaps it was the 'lack of' that made last night that much better. Guess I will find out tonight. I was giving him a whole run down about why he had been holding out on me for so long. His reply was something along the lines of not rushing these sorts of things, it makes them that much better. Hope that don't mean he is going to start with holding the goods again.

I am completely embarrassed to see the roommate today. I don't think that things got real loud, but I can't be sure. Shit. I don't regret it or anything but I have been the one on the hearing end of a slutty roommate and it is no fun. In all reality I did tell him I had a hot date, now he knows that the translation for that is mattress dancing.-V