Well. Where do I start? I have had this post brewing in my head all morning. First things first. I think that I am CRAZY! I feel like I have been spinning around and around and when I try to walk I can only stagger and then fall. I think that the Andy thing has me all messed up, not because of him in particular but the commitment issues that I have. I hate the idea of committing only to be dumped. I know there are no sure things only- wait and see. The waiting is excruciating! I have been hovering above my "dark place" this past week and I know that has a lot to do with my confusion and short fuse.
Andy: His reason's for not coming came in the form of a phone call that set me off right from the beginning. He called earlier in the day, I asked if I could call him back because I was on the way to a graveside service for a friend. He called me later in the day. Right after I say hello he starts telling me all about this painful skin thing that he has and how he had been in the hospital the night before. Fine. Then the story rolls into how he was supposed to collect all this money from a job and the guy won't pay up. Then it is back to the cryin about his skin. He doesn't ever come right out and say that he is not coming, he waits for me to cut to the chase and ask him. Then he doesn't really act like it bothers him. Why am I so upset about someone that does not even care? Right before he hangs up he asks about my day. Here is why I am a little bit pissed off. While we were on the phone the night before I had told him how emotional and exhausting the funeral and graveside were going to be. I don't expect him to read my mind. I told him outright that I was going to have a rough day. WTF! I don't have the attitude that it has to be all about me all the time. I do care that he is having skin problems. But the way he was going on about it, was irritating. What about me? What about my hellacious day?
Philly: The reason that I am drawn to him is because I know that it can't go anywhere. If I could roll them both up and make one guy that would be the answer. Too bad it doesn't work that way. Philly is the big talkin tough guy. And he actually asks about my day. You can actually see on his face that he gives a shit about the answer. Not because he has too or feels obligated, but because he wants too. Maybe he has had many years of looking like he cares, maybe he is a great actor, whatever it is I like it.
I know that real men are not big and tough all the time. It is attractive to see the softer side of a man. But every time he answers the phone he sounds 1/16Th away from absolute death. I know men are babies when they are sick but good hell! The way the Andy was cryin about his problems makes me feel like his mother and not someone that he is seeing. (well not even seeing at this point) I don't have kids and I don't think that I should have to raise a boyfriend either. I have taken the approach of just not talking to him this week, mostly because I know that if I talk to him I will be mean and more than likely say a bunch of things that I don't mean. It's not you it's me! Well it's sorta you.-V
4 comments:
you gave this fella enough chances, AND NOW HE'S GOT SKIN! you should roll these two fellas together and play table snotball with them, (I just made that game up).
Well you know it already but of course he's going to be a baby when he's got even a sniffle let alone anything else!
Men are just big babies (even the tough cocky ones) when they're ill and you could take this opportunity to look after him while he's being pathetic and he'll probably reward you handsomly when he's better.
But if you can't be arsed then just chuck him hun! Sounds like he's giving you grief rather than making you feel good xx
"Men are just big babies (even the tough cocky ones) when they're ill", oi! at least we can drive!
I meant that in the most affecionate way possible - secretly, we love it when you boys get a bit soppy and let us see your softer side!
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