I am going to scream! & Dave the saga, part one.

I was mean! I thought that I was mean enough that there was no way the point could be missed. Ya well, I guess that I didn't' take into consideration what I was really dealing with. Jason text and asked me to dinner on Friday night. My return text was something along the lines of: no I can't I have things to do. Later I text him and told him that he was not giving me space and that we were never going to go out, ever again. Sorry. Where did I go wrong? I am getting my Christmas tree with the family on Saturday. When I get back into service, I have 16 text messages and 4 voice mails. I wish I were exaggerating! The texts and voice mails start out all lovey dovey and by the end they are just plain psycho. Telling me that he isn't mad at me or anything and that I shouldn't be scared that he is going to break up with me; because he is going to tough it out, for the long haul.
HUH?
By this point I am about to scratch my own eyes out of my head. I finally have to just say it how it is. I don't like you. You drive me crazy, not in a good way. Stop all this crazy shit. I don't ever want to see you again! I got back an apology.....Sorry that I made you feel that way. When your not mad at me anymore, we can sit down and talk about how I am going to change.
Well, then I changed all the locks on my house and had to get one of the good Ole' boys to tell him to back off. I really didn't want to have to do that. Luckily that has worked this far. I don't like to be a mean person. OK well once in a while, but not this time. I feel bad that he is so confused and nutso.
Anyway:) Back to the bright side of my life.....Dave. I think about him all the time. Not constantly or anything stalker like that. I bet he crosses my mind at least 3 times a day. This have been happening for a few months now. I don't think that I have ever really blogged about more than just the nuts and bolts of Dave and I. I guess that I feel like if I keep it locked up tight then I can save it forever. When in all reality, getting it out here might help me figure it out.
I met Dave 7 years ago. He is my brother in laws cousin. We all went to the same high school, but didn't know each other. From the very first time we hung out, something was calm and soft. Not like all kinky and shit, like the feel in the air. If comfort floated? Since the get go, there was nothing that we didn't talk about. We spent entire summers on the river, fishing and camping. Everyone thought there was some sort of epic romance going on, when in all reality we were living in the moment and had finally found someone like us. The being alike part is where it gets better and worse. I have never spent as much time with one person and not wanted them dead when it was over. With him is the first time that I have not had to fight the urge to run, right from the beginning.
I liked the way things were going for us. We were best friends and had only kissed one teeny little time. It may sound pretty naive but, our relationship was not clouded by the physical part of things. Don't get me wrong, the physical part was most definantly there, we just thought better of tempting fate. Really it was the fact that both of us are relationship freaks and the flight instinct is the strongest one we have. Like I say, we had talked about it all.
One day out of nowhere. He is gone. Gone. I was completely broken hearted. I had lost a best friend and one of the only guys I could ever picture spending the rest of my life with. Gone. Poof. Not here.-V